Tag: communication

By Scott

How to get better at delivering feedback? First, get better at receiving it.

I am in the process of reading/reviewing Jodi Glickman’s book Great On The Job – What To Say, How To Say It – The Secrets of Getting Ahead.  As I go through it I will share some thoughts that make me go Hmmmm . . .  This posting is based on one of those moments.

What is the secret to speaking what you feel about someones performance and having it end up in a place where the relationship is still intact (or stronger) and your thoughts are heard?

The first and only tip – Focus on how you request and receive feedback from others.

I read Jodi Glickman’s book Great on the Job, and one quote is stuck in my head.  It is under the chapter of Ask for Feedback and the heading of Say Thank You.  The quote is (p. 129):

The goal, however, is continuous improvement and learning, not just feeling good.  If you have a tough feedback session, remind yourself that the goal of the session is not to make you feel good.  The goal is to make you better at your job.

 

Talent management is about great conversations, and the definition of a conversation is a form of interactive, spontaneous communication between two or more people who are following rules of etiquette. (wikipedia)  We all need to hear what is going well, but we have to be able to hear what we can do better.  At the heart of this conversation is a lot of smaller conversations around –  How am I doing?  What is going well and where do I need to improve?

How can we use this as individuals?

First, recognize that giving feedback is a lost art for many leaders who are, themselves, caught in a spot where nobody is telling them what they are doing well (when is the last time you told your leader about something they did well?) and the list of to do’s is only getting longer.  So, our job as individuals is to ask for it well,  stay calm in the moment of receiving it, and respond by saying thank you without our faces getting red or our jaws tightening.  Then do something with it that creates momentum for you and the organization.

Second, put extra focus into defining your role/objectives and own the one on one time with your leader.  This makes talking about performance  easier.  Here is a template if you want an example of what that looks like.

Getting and giving good feedback is not easy, but it is pretty simple.  I wonder what would happen if both leaders and followers read this one chapter together and tried it for a couple of months.  My guess is some great conversations would happen.

What tips do you have for giving/getting good feedback?

By Scott

Follower: How Often Should I Get Feedback?

I am in the process of reading/reviewing Jodi Glickman’s book Great On The Job – What To Say, How To Say It – The Secrets of Getting Ahead.  Jodi has an impressive list of college clients, two being Harvard and Cornell, that bring her in to prepare their students for success on the job.  As I go through it I will share some thoughts that make me go Hmmmm . . .  This posting is based on one of those moments.

I think our society is confused when it comes to feedback.  We lighten it with kids, with the intention of preserving their self esteem.  We worry about Millennials because the research says they need more.  In fact, at the height of the economic meltdown a study was done about what motivates people and managers said “positive feedback/thank you”, while their people said “making progress on my work”.  So what is the bottom line for feedback?

Jodi Glickman addresses the topic with new/soon to be new graduates in a way that anyone can benefit.

First, she shares a window – asking for it once a year is not enough and once a month is too often.

Secondly, she shares a very simple method for setting up the situation so the feedback can be given and has value for both the leader and the individual.  The two steps are:

  1. Phase I:  Preparation
  2. Phase II:  The Conversation

While both are good steps, I love Phase I.  Too often I see people jumping into a deep conversation with a peer or leader with no preparation for the person being asked to give it.  It usually ends with something generic like “It was great”.  Glickman’s quote about feedback that should be posted on cubicles everywhere is:

. . . the goal of the feedback is not to make you feel good.  The goal is to make you better at your job. (p. 129)

The author points out the best way to setup a good feedback session is to plant the seed before asking for feedback.  For example, if your focus is presentation skills, maybe planting the seed would sound like this:  “Julie, I am really trying to focus on my presentation skills, so could I ask a favor?  I’d welcome some feedback on my presentation after our client meeting next week.  If you could jot down some thoughts, I will setup some time for us to talk the following week.”

This builds off a core belief I have around Building Rhythm(from my trUPerformance™ model) in how we talk about our work, our priorities, and our needs.  Inherent in the one one one template I use with clients is the routine nature of our conversation and the predictable topics so feedback is continually mined (both positive and negative) without having to ask for it.

Talent management is about great conversations.  This book is loaded with tips on how, as a follower, to make those happen.

The final review of this book is coming next month, but so far I have really enjoyed the content and the way it is presented.

By Scott

Social Media, Relationships, and Leadership

Relationships are built through connections.  Connections happen when we have great conversations – – over and over again.  The numbers I preach to leaders and followers alike are:

  • 5 to 1: The optimal number of positive to negative interactions in a marriage
  • 3 to 1: The optimal number of positive to negative interactions in a work relationship
  • 3:  If we have this many close friends at work we are 96% more likely to be extremely satisfied with our life
  • If I were a smoker and a loner – I will live longer if I keep smoking and find some friends

Then comes social media.  Recently I was wondering if some day I would read a headline that would turn my world/beliefs upside down.  Something like:

  • Facebook changing the way we build close friends
  • The Tweets/day  = Happiness number is known:  14
  • Top 5 social media tools for creating healthy marriages and friendships
  • Keep Smoking, but open a Facebook account

My gut tells me that ignoring social media at work and in my life, in general, is the wrong move.  I also believe the fundamental things I preach to leaders and followers about success in work, building healthy relationships, building strong teams, and building strong companies will not change.

Then I stumbled upon a great TED talk that took on the topic of social media from Sherry Turkle called Connected, but alone? . I think I will stick with what my gut tells me – even as I continue to use Foursquare.  fyi – I just became Mayor of my street and no one treats me differently. 🙂

EXTRA:  An idea for using this video with high potentials/leadership groups: Watch the video (18 minutes) and explore the following questions:

  • How do I personally use social media tools?  What benefits do they provide me?
  • How do some of the important people in my life use them?
  • What comments from the video stand out for me?  Agree?  Disagree?
  • How can I use this to become better – Leaders?  Teammates?  Friends?  (Make one commitment)
By Scott

Do You Know How to Start and End a Conversation?

I am in the process of reading/reviewing Jodi Glickman’s book Great On The Job – What To Say, How To Say It – The Secrets of Getting Ahead.  As I go through it I will share some thoughts that make me go Hmmmm . . .  This posting is based on one of those moments.

I watch the eyes, because they always tell the truth. 

Have you ever experienced the glazed, lifeless stare that happens within 10 seconds of starting a conversation with someone?  It is most often the result of them being in the middle of something and me being too urgent to simply ask “Is this a good time?”

Jodi Glickman shares her secrets to opening and closing a conversation under a section she refers to as The Basics.  How to avoid the lifeless stare is addressed up front.  It made me chuckle when she talked about the feedback she received initially from two trusted friends that this section was too basic.  I loved it!  When I talk to people about talent management I stress the partnership between a leader and a follower, and the transparency that has to exist for the relationship to work.  Being specific about What I need is critical, and recognizing that this is not the right time to talk is equally as critical.  In the era of open office doors/no doors at all and cell phones that make everyone accessible 24/7, it is important to be able to say not the right time.

One of the unique pieces of her approach was the ending.  In it she shares two steps:

  1. Thank you
  2. Forward momentum

 

I love the concept of forward momentum.  Think of it – we have talked and here is where I am going next.  Imagine if every interaction led to some sort of forward momentum?  In talent management: forward momentum = ownership = engagement = great followership

An exercise: What percent of your conversations today lead to forward momentum?

 

By Scott

Leadership Rounding – A great example of how leading leaders is different

Going from a Director to a Vice President is a big jump – because all of the sudden how you lead becomes different.  It is often hard to explain this to people, but at some point they feel it through critcism for Never being around, and in their frustration they say something like I was just there last week or maybe even You never invite me!

I have blogged often about followership – which is knowing the priorities/challenges of your own leader and being purposeful about meeting those as you communicate and work towards meeting your own needs/priorities.  Here is a video from Quint Studer (The Studer Group) that talks about leadership rounding in healthcare.  Most of you are not in healthcare, but it is a great example of a message that needs to be heard by the executive and the leaders that report to them.  It does an amazing job of laying out the fears/frustrations of an executive and how some simple moves by front line leaders can help maximize the impact of a visit from a senior leader and help your own people connect with them in a way that will have lasting impact on your own team.

Check it out – and schedule a viewing with some leaders.  It is a great investment of 28 minutes.  Talent management is about having great conversations – this will start a great conversation.

By Scott

Tracking My Happiness – Final Report

Several posts ago I gave an initial update on my commitment to join a happiness survey that was discussed in a recent Harvard Business Review article.  Here it the link to that post.

I have completed it after 50 entries and 17 days.  Here is what the data says:

  • Top activities for happiness:  restaurants, exercising, being with customers, vacation, parties.
  • Bottom activities for happiness: balancing checkbook, meetings, taking care of children, working alone, watching television.
  • I am 2x as happy on Saturdays vs Sunday.
  • Thursday is my top day of the week – 25% higher than Friday. (today is Thursday – so I am happy about that)
  • I am 4x happier doing activities I don’t have to do but want to do vs doing things I don’t want to do but have to do.
  • There is a direct correlation for me between high focus and high happiness.
  • There is a direct correlation for me between happiness and productivity.

Many things make me smile when I review these results – mainly because they tell a story.  For example, as a parent much of my attention (and this is MY choice) in the last 3 weeks hast focused on homework, transportation, and getting children to bed and up in the morning.  My takeaway – I need to work on my attitude – and create some fun moments for us (good timing – spring break is next week).  I can only imagine what their happiness report would say about me. 🙂  I am okay with not liking the checkbook, meetings, and working alone.  I also think I need a bigger television. 🙂

I mentioned in my first post that this would be a great activity for any company to do with high potentials or leaders.  For smaller companies it is nice because it is free (it works with straight email, but requires an iPhone for easy data collection when walking around).  I still think it is best done by groups of 3 people, and then having a general report out to the whole group.

Talent management is based on self awareness that feeds into a great conversation.  This activity has the potential to provide for both.

I will post next week on how our talent management processes (one on ones, performance conversations, etc.) actually create some of these reflective/conversation moments if done well.

If you tried this, what was your experience?  What questions would you ask me after seeing some of my results?  Here is your chance to coach me.

By Scott

Time – What does your graph look like?

When I saw the graph above(from a Seth Godin blog – here is the link) I immediately thought about my business.  How do I spend my time?  Which pieces should I spend more time on?

Several years ago I created a leadership development program to help prepare leaders to launch sales offices in other states.  As part of the program, each leader was to receive a 360 evaluation nine months after the launch.  I did this mainly because I had a feeling that bad habits were going to develop during launch because there was so much to do and resources were scarce.  When the first 360 came back – what was the message?  Time.  Spending too much on little things and not enough focused on big things (growing sales, etc.).  Even great leaders get sucked into the little things.

Are you always out of time?  Try this – spend 2-3 days tracking your time, then spend 15 minutes reviewing your results by answering three questions:

  1. What are the priorities for our business / my team?
  2. How much time am I spending on those priorities?
  3. What one change could I make to become more focused on those priorities?

Our time is something WE all control.

What are some things you have done in the past to take control of your time?

By Scott

Introversion (TED video) and trUYou

At the most recent TED conference in California there was a great presentation about introversion by Susan Cain, who recently published a book on the topic.  It has been watched 1 million+ times already and is a good message.  The title is The Power of Introverts.

I preach talent management as being a conversation, and I like this video because understanding our tendency to think more vs talk is important.  Having a conversation means two people showing up and talking/listening in equal parts.  Susan also makes the distinction that introverts can do public speaking (after all, she is presenting), but it is an activity that taps her energy stores, not fills them.  Her power is in thinking problems through by listening to others share their expertise, researching, and drawing on her own experience.  A great gift for a team, but often hard to tap into.

Here is my add-on to the video:

  • For Introverts – Speak up.  The world, your company, the planning for your neighborhood party will go on without you because you are surrounded by people that have a more natural style to talk and influence.  It is not easy, but with the world moving faster, you are at risk of being marginalized more now than 10 years ago because your leaders/peers have more noise in their lives.  Whispers do not cut it anymore – and a tweet, text, or email is too often just a whisper.
  • For leaders of introverts – How hard have you tried to listen?  To set them(introverts) up to be successful?  At any point in team discussions do you stop the free for all and just go around the room and give everyone 45 seconds of input?  Do you meet one on one with everyone regularly so listening is a habit?  Does your challenge (speak up) come with encouragement and purposeful moves to help them step out?

This is not the only thing a person needs to know about themselves, but it is a good start because how we communicate (or not) is one big measure the world will use to measure us.  Here is a link to a tool I use called my trUYou model. It is a guide for what we need to know about us.  Introversion/extroversion is one piece to us, but it is pretty important.

Want to know how introverted or extroverted you are?  Try this free Jung Typology Test (basically the same as the Myers-Briggs).

By Scott

What does my leader do . . .

A leader I respect recently shared a frustration – “My people don’t think I do anything.”  In the ensuing conversation we explored the silent things they do to help their team stay focused, and different ways to help them see the investment being made in their success.  Leadership behind closed doors too often leads to communication gaps that are filled with opinions.

I am in the middle of a family project to document some letters my Grandpa received during his service in Europe during WWI as a leader of an artillery battery.  The follow letter (unedited by me) came addressed simply to the Commanding Officer, Battery A. 123rd Field Artillery.  It is dated December 16th, 1918 – Delton, Michigan.

Dear Sir,

Will you please inform about Private Henry C. Akers.  The report came in to Carthage, Ill that Henry and his brother was both killed and his brother is not, and I haven’t heard from Henry since the 28 of July 1918 and I am so worry over him.  Will you please be so kind and look it up as soon as possible and let me know.  I wrote the war department at Washington D.C. and they said no report of any kind of mishap had reach thems but theys refer me to write to you.

Will you please tell me if the Battery A 123 F.A. is going to come across to U.S.A soon or when?  Will thank you ever so much for your trouble.

Florence M – ,  Delton, Michigan

My guess is this an example of a  ‘Do things as assigned’ activity from the job description of a leader.  I don’t know my Grandpa’s response, but based on my time with him I am sure he dealt with it quickly and without a lot of fanfare.  This 94 year old letter is also a testament that leadership has not changed all that much.  There are some things you just have to get involved in as a leader that the rest of the world cannot see, or are just to busy to really notice. 

Leaders – A good parallel to an open door policy is a transparency policy.  A seasoned leader once shared with me a habit where they shared their personal list of problems they were trying to solve at their monthly staff meeting.  They also asked for input/help from their team.  Suprisingly (or not) over time they often received some very creative ideas and help

 Followers – Why not ask your leader to share the top five three things that are consuming their mind/time right now? 

By Scott

A great question to end your week (or your meeting)

It was a situation I had been in many times before.  Presenting to a group (this being a group of students at Grand Valley State University) and enjoying the interaction.  I was talking about my business/journey, talent management, and connecting back to their topics of diversity and ethics.  I did what every speaker does during a session, I paused and asked “Are there any questions?”.  Quickly a hand shot up in the back from a student who had been engaged all night.  Then he changed my week with one question:

“Through all of your startup, What are you most proud of?” 

Know that my week had not started well, and I had been second guessing this commitment to speak.  My mind quickly went to the faces of a team I had just been talking with that were bringing a different level of energy to their leadership.  I thought of a friend who had recently shared he was adding a one on one with his regimen and using my scorecard.  I thought of the energy my family had put into helping me get started.  I am not sure what I shared, but it was only a portion of the great thoughts that entered my head.

The trajectory of my week changed at that moment.

I love this question.  It makes people think of successes, of relationships they cherish, and of things in their lives that went right.

Try this at a meeting or offsite somtime with your team.  I have even seen it done where people are asked before to bring in an artifact (picture, items, etc.) that identifies something they are proud of.  It will lead to smiles and intimate knowledge of what makes people tick. 

So as you end your week, take a couple of minutes to ponder and answer the question “What am I most proud of?”