TrustBUSTER™ #1 – Talking behind the backs of teammates

Cover of "Fierce Conversations: Achieving...
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TrustBUSTER™ 1:  Talks negatively about teammates behind their backs

Every leader has he said/she said stories where someone says something out of the earshot of another that is perceived as negative.  It is no wonder that Patrick Lencioni’s first two dysfunctions in his book The Five Dysfunctions of a Team are the absence of trust and inability to manage conflict.  So how can you prevent this in your team?

Susan Scott makes the point in her book Fierce Conversations that “As a leader, you get what you tolerate.”  Complaining requires a talker and a listener.  If you listen and let it go you are tolerating it.  The best way to stop it is to have zero tolerance for it.  When you hear it, encourage  the person to address their concerns directly with the person or drop it.  If it continues then it needs to be dealt with as a performance issue.

In addition, recognize that most teams and individuals are not skilled at directly giving or receiving negative feedback, which forces disagreements to be internalized or appear as complaints that are passed around people and not directly to them.  Make attainment of this skill a priority for your team.  Even just reading and discussing the book Fierce Conversations by Susan Scott will go a long way towards helping people learn the skills that will help bring complaints into the open.