On a recent trip my kids tired of looking for different license plates, so they decided to count the number of Prius’ that passed Dad. They found it funny when a little 134 horsepower car passed a 310 horsepower truck. I was reminded of the number 2 throughout our journey. My way out was to exceed my limit of driving the speed limit +6 mph (avoiding risk of a ticket) to over take the Prius’ that zoomed by. My ego said go faster, but the thought of a ticket vs pursuing the artificial win kept my ego in check.
Ego is a noun. It is that thing within us that mediates between who we are inside and our external reality. We often hear it used as a negative, especially when we talk about leaders.
- His ego won’t let him admit that he was wrong.
- This decision was all about her ego and not about what was right for the organization.
Is ego bad?
Not always. Too often we forget that ego is the driving force behind great accomplishments. The DiSC profile talks about the D and the I styles seeing themselves as more powerful than their environment. Their ego allows them to face big challenges, keep a clear focus, and find a way to persevere to a solution. For many leaders, ego drives them to success.
Then what happens? Flip Flippen and others talk about how strengths, when overused, become our constraints. Ego is one of them. Ego might provide stamina, but in a leader it can easily be perceived as ignoring needs/goals of others to satisfy self. When their ego takes over and warning signs or boundaries are ignored to secure the victory or preserve power, it becomes a destructive force.
To finish my story, I am not an ego-less driver. On the return home while entering Illinois a third Prius tried to overtake me. For 31 miles my cruise was adjusted to speed limit + 11. They exited for a stop, and I finished my trip: Prius 2, Dad/Suburban 1. It did not quiet the kids, but my ego was satisfied. 🙂
What part is ego playing in your decisions today? How has it helped? How would others see it? What boundaries (values, beliefs, rules) do you have that guide your ego? (write them down)