Tag: awareness of self

By Scott

Book Review: Steve Jobs Biography (by Walter Isaacson)

When Steve Jobs retired I posted an entry recognizing him for his rebound/recovery from obvious failures.  I have always been impressed with that – even more so than the products he created.

I just finished his biography, and posted a review on LinkedIn.  For this blog entry I thought I would post a few thoughts for those of you thinking about reading it or those wanting to compare notes.

  1. Is it a book about being an effective leader?  Yes and no – there are great leadership lessons in it, but I still ascribe to the Blanchard definition of leadership – “Leadership is an influence process.  It is about working with people to accomplish their goals and the goals of the organization.”  This is worth a longer conversation – but do not make it a book study for your exec team or high potential leadership group. 🙂
  2. Is it for an Apple product lover or a non-Apple product owner?  Yes and yes.  Based on sales numbers, I am not sure there are too many of the latter, but the product chapters are fascinating.  Remember my perspective is that of a new iPhone owner (4 months) and I bought it for two reasons:  1) Look cool(er) to my kids  2) Explore all the Apple hype many of my friends have been preaching for years.  (fyi – it is still just a phone, but a cool phone. 🙂 )
  3. The best part of this book for me is the completeness of the story.  The good and the bad are told, and in the end Steve Jobs was just a guy doing lots of great things and making lots of mistakes along the way.  Some he fixed, and many he did not, and that is what all our stories would look like if they were written down.  It is well written and when I finished the book I felt like I do not need to read any more about him – I get him.

Below is a picture of the pages that I really liked reading – page number on the left and a few words describing it on the right.  I do this in many of my books so I can go back and find passages I liked.  It is a good read!

By Scott

Are you a BUT or AND leader?

A coach and mentor taught me the lesson of substituting the word AND for BUT in my statements.

BUT . . .

  • sends the message that the important part of the message is coming.
  • begins the process of rebuilding a thought or action plan.
  • says start listening.
  • is an accountability word.

AND . . .

  • recognizes progress and paints a picture of a preferred future.
  • begins the process of building upon a thought or action plan.
  • says keep listening. 
  • is an accountability and problem solving word.

Assignment:  Listen to how you and those around you use BUT / AND today.  What do you notice?

I would welcome a few posts of BUT or AND sentences that you hear.

By Scott

Universal truths: Leadership, Parenting . . . and conflict

I recently reviewed a book on these pages by David C. Baker, and in my interview with him he talked about parenting being a place where leaders can learn.  He related it to his own experience where the things unsaid often consumed more energy than the things that were said.  Reminding us, as leaders, parents, wives, husbands, and friends – we need to find ways to share the truths as we see them.

I was reminded how being a parent or leader is so similar, and the things we learn to be effective at both roles are the same.  It hit home for me when I want to a parenting seminar from celebratecalm.com and Kirk Martin talk about dealing with teen children.  First he described the boiling over of emotions that often happens in tense situations,  and for me and several friends it was a familiar reaction.  Then he talked about a more effective way to acknowledge what was happening, step back (find another place), and then address it.  He even talked about using the simple action of sitting to help put ourselves in a physical position to effectively deal with conflict.  It was obvious how these skills, used consistently, would alter the conversation and help create a more positive outcome on many levels.

It is important to recognize the roles we play in life (parent, leader, teammate, spouse, friend), our priorities for those roles, and the actions that need to accompany our commitments in these roles.  Too often we think we have to shift gears to play those roles, when in reality many of the skills that make us a good leader will make us a good parent, a good neighbor, or a good friend. 

And if we are an overbearing/directive leader – well maybe that is why teenagers were created. 🙂

By Scott

Leadership: The Power (And Trap) Of Non-Verbals

We have been studying nonverbal communications in class and it is interesting how you can tell what people are thinking by their actions – especially when they are inconsistent with their words.  Is it important for leaders to know this?

I received this note from a leader who also loves to learn.  It reminded me of a couple of things:

  1. 60-70% of our communication is non-verbal 
  2. Great communicators have mastered non-verbal cues
  3. Stress behaviors for leaders (according the the Birkman Method) often shows up as us sending the wrong nonverbal signals

My big concern about teaching leaders how to read non-verbal signs is that we fail to teach them the skills needed to use it to have a great conversation about how a person really feels.

It is a slippery slope if we start taking a nonverbal cue as their statement.  Imagine the power of a leader saying “I heard you say you supported the decision, but I sense that support is not 100%.  What % would most accurately gauge your support? . . . . “ 

Understanding non-verbals gives leaders/individuals a tool to know when to hit pause in a conversation and allow someone space to share what they are thinking/feeling. 

My admission (I am supposed to be skilled at this) – Today I read a nonverbal (watery eyes) cue and my interpretation was someone is done reviewing their Birkman results after a 90 minute discussion.  They had absorbed all they could in one sitting. When I shared that perception it turns out it was allergies, and that launched us into 15 minutes of great conversation.  I was wrong, and I am glad I found out before I unilaterally shut the conversation down.

Read them – yes.  But remember that it is a cue to keep talking / listening.

By Scott

An Interview and Book Giveaway with Leadership Expert & Author David Baker

As readers of my blog, you know that I like to meet intriguing people, and I share some of those meetings with you on these pages.  I met author David C. Baker first through reading his book, Managing Right For the First Time:  A Field Guide For Doing It Well.  I liked his book because it was focused on providing managers with tangible tools/knowledge they needed to be successful.  I could also see this as a tool a mentor could use in helping a manager learn and grow in their role. 

 

A little about David (although a full bio can be found on his website) – He was born in Michigan, but lived in San Miguel Acatan, Guatemala with a tribe of Mayan indians until he was 18, after which he moved to the United States.   He went on to earn advanced degrees in ancient languages and theology.  He has consulted with more than 650 firms, and has written three books, including Managing (Right) for the First Time and Financial Management of a Marketing Firm. His work has been discussed in the Wall Street Journal, USA Today, Fast Company, Inc., Forbes, CBS Business Network, MarketingProfs, and BusinessWeek. He lives in Nashville, TN with his wife Julie. David plays racquetball, rides fast motorcycles, loves photography, and enjoys aviation (as a helicopter and airplane pilot).

It is a worthwhile read and a great addition to any leader’s toolbox, which is why I interviewed David.  My only advice is that this book is best read in a group of two or three so the peer/mentor support can be used to help apply the things that you will learn about management and leadership.  As I was preparing for the interview, Inc Magazine recognized David/his book as a 2011 Best Book for Entrepreneurs.  Now I cannot say I found him first. 🙂

Book Giveaway:  In addition to the interview, I am giving away five (5) copies of his book.  (Information below on how to qualify)

Here is my interview with David . . .

You have worked for a long time helping people become better leaders and managers.  What moved you to write this book?

I was speaking at a conference in Atlanta to 700 new managers, and I began to ask them what they were struggling with, thinking I might adjust my presentation to address those particular needs. Then at the end of the presentation I said, “You know, this seems like such a big issue with so many common themes, that I ought to write a book about it.” I then gave them my email address and asked them to submit their struggles. I received about 150 emails.

Since your book was published in 2010, what are some ways you have seen it used by individuals and organizations?

It’s been a little surprising, because the primary audience was intended to be the person who was managing others for the first time. But from what I can tell, it’s had more impact on existing managers who would like some guidance on how to do it well.

What is the biggest mistake you see new managers make?  What is your message to them?

The biggest mistake by far is to misunderstand the fact that a promotion means that you “do” less and “manage” more. Someone who is not so much promoted but “sentenced” to management hides in the “doing” and ignores the managing. That’s the fatal mistake. What makes it particularly sad is that very few people complain about bad management—what they complain about is no management.

What is an emerging trend you see around the role of managers in the last 5 years?

One would be learning how to manage remote teams, either permanently living/working somewhere else or just working from home from time to time. Another would be the flexibility that employees value in their jobs, to attend a soccer game or a doctor’s appointment. Finally, I think the culture in an organization is far more important than it used to be, especially as benefits are stripped away, pay increases are curtailed, and the workloads have increased.

You mention parenting being a part of your experience as a manager.  What is a personal example of how a parenting experience helped develop your skills as a manager?

I think primarily it’s been about just talking over things. It’s easy to live in the same house but never really talk about meaningful things. As a friend of mine says, you only feel tension about the things you DON’T say, not the things you DO say. So addressing things in an honest, straightforward, truly listening sort of way as a parent has helped me a lot as a manager.

A discussion of competency building is often the focus of new manager training, but not a big part of what you share in this book.  Where do you see it fitting in?

There are tools out there that help a manager first be self-aware, and then if they are successful, they will transfer to that developing a management style that matches the style the managed employee prefers.  It’s a shame, really, but there’s a criminal lack of attention to management and leadership skills in undergraduate work. Yet you have graduates who want to “change the world,” not realizing that their best chance at doing that is through their management style, one by one.

From a technical standpoint, I don’t think managers need to be super competent, and I certainly don’t think they need to be the most competent person in the department. That’s a huge fallacy. Some of the most well-run (and largest) companies in the world are led by good leaders, not competent technicians.

If you were going to make sure a new leader read two chapters of your book, which ones would they be?

Chapter 12 on a performance review you might enjoy, and chapter 14 on being a leader they want to follow.

You end your book with a compilation of advice from current managers.  What is the best advice you have received in your career and who provided it?

I invited a friend, Michael Gerber, the author of “The E-Myth Revisited,” and I’ll never forget his emphasis on working on the business instead of in it. To me, managing is about working on the business.

Thanks David for a great interview.

If you would like to win a copy of David’s book, Managing Right For The First Time, here’s what you need to do to qualify:

  1. RT this post on Twitter or Share on LinkedIn
  2. Comment on this post
  3. Make sure I have a valid email address (I ask for it when you post to my blog)

All posts made by the end of this week(week of Jan. 16) qualify – and from that I will randomly select the 5 winners.

By Scott

3 Things Leaders Should Ask For More Of In 2012

I love the holidays because of the conversations that I have been a part of and the themes that come out as people reflect on the year.  Based on some of the things I am hearing, here are a few themes that have stood out for me as people I met reflected on work/life.  These are ideas for leaders to help make the lives of their people/teams better in 2012.

1. More Networking: I had 3 conversations with leaders/followers in very different employment situations, and yet they had one thing in common.  None of them did any purposeful networking.  When I mentioned LinkedIn to them, they all gave various answers of I am not looking for a job or I am happy where I am.  Let me yell two things from the rooftop right now:

  • Networking is not about finding a job – it is about getting smarter and helping others get smarter.
  • If you are not networking outside of your zip code regularly you are on the road to be marginalized (or you are already there).

What this might look like for a leader:

  • Encourage everyone on your team to develop a LinkedIn profile and join two professional groups.
  • Add a question to the beginning of every big decision that is What does your network say?. Whether it is buying software, looking for a great business book to read, or just finding a 10 minute energizer for your next sales meeting – mine for different ideas or different approaches.

2.  More of doing something besides your job: Efficiency for organizations has become a way of life, and it is time to recognize formally that everyone needs some of what I call Google-Time.  It is a reference to Google’s famous practice of spending a certain amount of time working on new ideas that have nothing to do with your job.  The message we send when we give people space is that “I care about you.”  I define Google-Time as work that re-energizes your body, your work, and our organization.

What this might look like for a leader:

  • In your one on ones, tell everyone on your team that you want to give them 8 hours a month to do whatever they want, and there are only 2 guidelines:
    • 4 hours must be spent working with someone on business renewal  – fixing something, reinventing something, rethinking/changing something.
    • 4 hours must be spent on personal renewal, maybe something you stopped doing because of work –   time with family, lunch with friends, exercise, sleep.
  • Ask for an update every month on where there Google-time was spent and what difference it made for them?
  • Don’t critique, just encourage.

3.  More feedback on how I am doing: I do lots of team development, and the topic of trust is always a big one.  One measure I give to leaders is How often do people disagree with your ideas? and How often do they change your mind?. I added the second question because I personally became tired of hearing the answer “Everyone argues with me” from leaders that I knew were feared.  The second question created discomfort for them, and led to richer conversations.

What this might look like for a leader:

  • In your monthly one on ones, add a 2 minute section around What are you hearing that I should know? or Of all the decisions we are facing (or I have made) – which one do you disagree with or have strong feelings about?
  • Listen (or be patient when this flops in Month 1 and 2, some people might be reluctant to share)
  • Make sure you emphasize with them that, as a leader, you often find things moving so fast and decisions being made quickly, so you appreciate it when people slow you down to re-think things every now and then.
  • Thank people for ideas / input – then do something with it.

Final direction – just pick one of these ideas to do. Remember most of your team is already trying to eat less, excercise more, pay off their credit cards, or just trying to deal with the general winter lack of sunlight.  Done for 3-6 months any one of these will make a difference.

By Scott

My Top Shelf – Books that I love

Everyone should have a top shelf – the one you share with people at work when they ask for a reading recommendation.  A few caveats on my list:

  1. I generally only recommend books <200 pages, with a few exceptions.  (I favor authors who have mastered clarity, passion, and brevity)
  2. These are around business and/or personal development books.
  3. I will explain any selection, but not apologize or argue about it.  It is my shelf – so build your own if you disagree. 🙂
  4. I do not loan these out, but will often buy people a copy.  They are marked up and I would hate to lose them.

It has expanded over the years, but my general rule is that the number has to be limited.  Now to add one I have to take one off.  I had a shelf with about 8 books for many years, then I got a bigger shelf. 

Here is my top shelf:

(they are in no particular order – but left to right in the picture)

  1. The Mindful Coach – Doug Silsbee
  2. Co-Active Coaching – Whitworth/Kimsey-House, Sandahl
  3. Sway – Ori/Ram Brafman
  4. Outliers – Malcolm Gladwell
  5. All Things New, A Fable of Renewal – Rodger Price
  6. Confessions of a Public Speaker – Scott Berkun
  7. Good to Great – Jim Collins
  8. First, Break all the Rules – Marcus Buckingham/Curt Coffman
  9. Fierce Conversations – Susan Scott
  10. Linchpin – Seth Godin
  11. Strengthsfinder 2.0 – Tom Rath
  12. How Full is Your Bucket – Tom Rath/Don Clifton
  13. Mastering the Rockefeller Habits – Verne Harnish
  14. Drive – Daniel Pink
  15. One Minute Manager – Ken Blanchard/Spencer Johnson
  16. For Men Only – Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn
  17. Mastery – George Leonard
  18. Let Your Life Speak – Parker Palmer
  19. Rework – Jason Fried/David Heinemeier Hansson
  20. The Five Dysfunctions of a Team – Patrick Lencioni
  21. Death By Meeting – Patrick Lencioni
  22. The Will of God As A Way of Life – Gerald Sittser
  23. Season of Life – Jeffrey Marx
  24. The Servant – James Hunter
  25. Who Moved My Cheese – Spencer Johnson
  26. Into The Wild – Jon Krakauer
  27. HalfTime – Bob Buford
  28. Tribes – Seth Godin
  29. The Five People You Meet In Heaven – Mitch Albom
  30. Jonathan Livingston Seagull – Richard Bach
  31. Do the Work – Steve Pressfield

Some are great books, and some have achieved significance for other reasons.  In the end, I will recommend other books on occassion, but I love these selections.  In addition, I also have 2-3 Harvard Business Review articles I love for people not having time to read.

Looking for a good question to ask your new leader?  What two books stand out in your mind as great?  (might be a good idea to read them – it will often explain how they think and what they value)

Submit a question to this posting if you want a more detailed explanation on any of these selections.

By Scott

Leader/Manager as Culture Builder

I have been asked to read and review David C. Baker’s new book Managing Right: For The First Time.  I write in books.  I circle, highlight, and dog ear pages I want to return to.  This posting is based on one of those pages.  **Special Offer for my blog readers:   If you are interested in reading this book yourself, the publisher has given me 10 copies to give to my readership.  I liked the book because of the simple wisdom it shares and how it fits nicely into a mentor/mentee or group study.  Email me if you want a copy – scott@thetrugroup.com. 

Manager = Culture Builder  (from Chapter 15:  Creating and Sustaining Culture)

I can hear it now – “You want me to worry about culture?  I am a manager trying to keep my head above water learning the job and reacting to all the change above me and below me, and now you tell me I am a culture builder?” 

Culture is the sum total of all your choices – this statement from David Baker caught my eye because it is simple and scary.  It reminds us that everything we do contributes to the environment (culture) we create.  A lot to digest, so let’s focus in on one thing that Baker calls out in his list “Enemies of Culture”.

The first enemy of culture for you as the leader is the technically proficient or very capable jerk.  I love the blunt language.  There should be a name for the person who uses their knowledge to elevate themselves and to step on others.   Jerk fits.

I have learned to ask certain questions when receiving the “They are really smart but everyone hates them.  Can you help?” call.  The first question is “Why do you want to keep them?”  I have to hear a compelling reason and a strong commitment from the leader or it is not worth my time.  I know from experience that 80+% of the people that are stepping on people do not know it, and when they get hit with that information they will need to see some extremely strong support to help them be successful or it will not work.

Action:  Here is a template I published for a performance conversation that makes it next to impossible to side step this situation as a leader.  Every performance conversation needs to be very explicit around: 1)  What you do on your job and 2) How you do it (ie: culture).  This enemy should receive high marks for being smart, and a substantially below standards for being mean.  

I can here the reaction now.  Scott – it is not that easy. 

Just to let you know, I did not say it was easy, but I feel very comfortable saying it is that simple.  Remember, as a leader the Culture is the sum total of all your choices.  Make the choice to address this enemy.

By Scott

A tool to help leaders listen

After my most recent post a colleague asked me “Do you have a tool for helping leaders to listen?”  I did not then, but 24 hours later here it is.  As with anything I load up on my website, you can have it if you use it, improve on it, and share it back.

The primary listening tool for leaders is the one on one TIME with your people.  If you have 10+ direct reports you might want to modify this for a team setting. (I would be happy to help with that)

First, remember what people need from you.  Ken Blanchard said “Leadership is an influence process.  It is about working with people to accomplish their goals and the goals of the organization.”  Listening is about making what the organization (ie. YOU) needs very clear and providing space for them to tell you what they need.  My one caveat is that this form assumes you have already had some sort of discussion around development with them. (here is a link to those templates – posted last month)

Here is a link to the form and four MUSTS for using it:

  1. The individual owns updating it and sharing a copy with the leader.
  2. The leader owns the effort to help define the core job duties, being clear about when they need a call on things, and showing up for the time. (ie.  make it a priority)
  3. Keep the time focused on celebrating greens or completes and hearing/devising plans to make reds turn yellow or green.
  4. Limit time to 15-30 minutes, and it can be done on the phone if needed – but if possible work in face time (even if it is Skype).

If you do not have a habit like this listening is extra hard, if not impossible. 

If you are wondering how the One on One fits into everything else you are asked to do as a leader around managing your people, I created a talent scorecard for leaders to get a free assessment of their habits and some feedback.  Here is a link.

Lead well!

By Scott

How long do you listen?

I make it a habit of spending time with people smarter than I am.  This past year I went to see a neuropsychologist named Tim Royer talk and within a few seconds I knew I was in the right place. 🙂

He shared a startling fact:  On average, doctors diagnosing a brain disorder (ADD, ADHD, Depression, etc.) spent just under 7 minutes with their patients before making the diagnosis?

Really?  I was actually relieved because the other statistic I knew from a study was that when you visit the doctor’s they spend an average of 23 seconds listening before making a diagnosis. 

Good news:  The brain is complex so physicians spend more time (maybe 18x) before diagnosing you. (assuming the 7 minutes is spent listening, questioning, and observing)

Bad news:  Is that really enough?  For an organ that has 10,000 miles of neurons, 20 terrabytes of storage, and consumes 80% of the energy your body produces – is 7 minutes long enough?

People are complex.  Teams are complex.  How much time do you spend listening or trying to understand peers?  Your leader? People on your team?

Activity:  At your next staff meeting or one on one – Keep track of the following things: 

Number of questions you ask vs # of times you tell people something 

Time spent listening vs time spent  time talking (fyi:  doodling or answering texts is not actively listening)  

What does it tell you?