Tag: executive coaching

By Scott

Words and Presence

What do you like about this teacher?

Well, she is nice and . . . . .

You know the first thing you said was She was nice?  Being able to connect that way to students is a gift.  It goes beyond doing.  It is about really caring, and we sense that.

I witnessed this conversation between my daughter and my mother.  My Mom is a retired teacher, and her words reminded me how important it is to listen to what people say.

The words we use tell a story about what is important to us.  It is not magic, it is conversation.  The magic is in choosing to be present and willing to explore what you hear.

The words remind us what we should be doing to make deeper connections with people around us.

One of my favorite coaching topics is empathy and building relationships.  When leaders take on the assignment to go listen more the stories they return with are always full of magical moments.  It is not easy to make a change like this, but the reward makes it easier to keep trying to make it a habit.

Try it today, by simply asking the question – On this team, who is your most valuable person?  What about them is so special?

Just listen.

By Scott

3 Tips For Making Any Personal Journey A Success

I took a lunch break yesterday to go listen to my friend Dean Whittaker talk about the future.  I left with one page of notes in Everrnote (fyi:  I was paperless), three websites that could help me get smarter after I left, and two re-connections with people that I did not know would be there.  All in all it was 90 minutes well spent.

No matter where you want to go (career, performance management, personal change, business growth), here are three universal tips for a successful journey:

  1. Give first / the get will show up: Dean did not tell me he would make me smarter if I came, that was my secondary goal – with the primary one being to show support for him.
  2. Make a goal: I have a goal of one scheduled networking event a week.  Goal met this week (I actually have a checklist for my own healthy habits – email me if you want a copy).
  3. Depth vs Breadth: I sat with a long time friend that I have not seen in a while.  It is okay to settle in and catch up.  He actually introduced me to 2 people I should know.  Tip 3.5:  Be open to other conversations.

Any to add?

 

By Scott

Behind Performance Adjectives Series: Narcissistic

He is a Narcissist.  Can you fix him?

When I hear the word Fix I usually have to fight a smile.  Not a smile because something is funny, but a smile because that comment implies  people are like machines, and with a replacement part, some oil, and maybe a few ball bearings (for you Fletch fans) and they are good to go.  It is not that simple.

First, when a heavy label like narcissist is thrown out there, the first step is to get to what people mean by simply responding – “That is a big word that can mean lots of things.  Tell me a little bit more about what you  are seeing.”  If you look in Wikipedia here are some of the descriptors for narcissism:

  • An obvious self-focus in interpersonal exchanges.
  • Problems in sustaining satisfying relationships
  • Haughty body language
  • Vulnerability to shame rather than guilt

With such a range, it is critical to clarify what people are seeing first.

Secondly, realize that chronic mental illness is present in <6% of the population, and in any year 28-30% experience a mental or addictive disorder.  (see my past post:  Nobody Behaves Well In The Corner)  If you think someone has a mental illness, it is probably only temporary and there is probably a good explanation if you have the time to explore it and understand it.

Finally, if you have the time, a tool like the Birkman can help put words around what they are feeling (or missing) because the stress behaviors the Birkman identifies are often the exact things that lead people to believe that someone is a narcissist.  Here is an example of two stress behaviors under Challenge, which describes our self-imposed demands for achievement.

  • Too critical and demanding of self an others
  • Feels inadequate, fears failure

A slow recovery for a normal company results in the same phenomenon as a fast growing company – do more with less.  That tension creates stress with people by itself, then throw in life (death, divorce, job loss) and we have recipe for lots of behaviors that get labels like narcissistic, crazy, or nuts.

Step one is not Fix it.  Step one is just to get it on the table to better understand it.  Tools like the Birkman help that conversation.

 

Knowing our roles: One Thing A Leader Does
By Scott

Knowing our roles: One Thing A Leader Does

We finally got some winter where I live.  Yesterday we enjoyed the chance to go cross country skiing and sledding.

When we returned home and I was settling in the question came – Dad, would you come outside and help us build one of those big snow forts? My inside voice initially said No.  After all, my agenda was about rest and focusing on my to do list.  Then I realized how important it was for them.  So my verbal answer was Yes, and I spent the next hour helping them create a pretty cool fort.  The effort was rewarded later when my daughter’s friend was being picked up and the girls were bragging about the fort they built.  Their pride was my reward.

You see, there are certain roles we take on that, as part of the role, we commit to doing things that are important to others.  When we do that, the big message is You matter, so you get my time.  Relationships are built when we commit some of our time to the priorities of others.

Being a leader is one of those roles.  Inherent to your role as a leader is spending time worrying about/supporting others. Is it a sacrifice?  Sometimes.

One of the great books I have found that paints a picture of this time commitment is The One Minute Manager by Ken Blanchard.

Remember your roles today – and make some of the commitments that come with them.

By Scott

Forget your brand. What is your art?

 

Art is a personal gift that changes the recipient.  the medium doesn’t matter. ~ Seth Godin (Linchpin, p.83)

It is popular now to talk about our reputation in terms of our Brand.  Just this week I received an email touting a class to define and grow your brand.  Coincidentally this week has also been a big week for another brand that is working hard to salvage its reputation.  Have you read anything about Livestrong?

Inherent to every coaching or development conversation I have is focusing on the foundational understanding of who you are, what you bring, and the experience you are creating for others.  I don’t like using the word brand because it is a word that too easily moves into the area of spin and perception.  I follow Seth Godin’s quote (fyi – he is also a world class marketer, among other things) to use the word Art.  Inherently, Art is personal and carries with it a passion for creation and sharing.  In the age of flat organizations, fuzzy job descriptions, and leaders too busy to provide daily care and leadership to their people – the world needs more artists.  An artist sees their gifts and finds ways to practice it because they love it.  An artist finds community naturally because they understand other artists and express sincere appreciation for what they do.

The other quote that Godin shares on the same page is from Roy Simmons ~ Most artists can’t draw.

Quit worrying about your brand.  Worry about your art and your medium.

(If you want to explore this further is to read Linchpin by Seth Godin.  I also use a model called trUYou to help clients frame this conversation.)

For a full list of books/resources I recommend here is my library.

By Scott

Employee Survey 101

I just finished delivering an employee survey to an organization that gets it.  By gets it, I mean that they understand the importance of being purposeful about strengthening culture and the hard work it takes to grow culture.  When I think of the word to describe a key ingredient for doing this project successfully – courage.

Here are some key things to understand before starting this process.

101.1  REMEMBER:  There are two fundamental questions you are trying to answer using an employee survey:

  1. How are you feeling?
  2. How are we doing (as leaders)?

*My partner on this project made the quote:  When we do the survey we are asking your people to assign a number to what they are feeling.

101.2 The employee survey is a conversation. Remember, by definition a conversation is the information exchange of ideas by spoken words.  To have a successful conversation it requires two people that are willing to speak and listen.

101.3  The key steps in an Employee Survey

  1. Deliver the survey (It shows you want to talk)
  2. Deliver the results (it shows you are willing to listen)
  3. Follow-up conversation (It shows you ARE listening)
  4. Present back progress report at 3/6 months (It shows you listened and you value their input)

 

Talent management is about great conversations.  This can be a great conversation, but it is not an easy one.

Here is my single page of Fundamental Beliefs.  It is meant to scare you and support you at the same time.

Final thought:  Taking courage AND wisdom into a challenging task is critical if you want to be successful.  Please bring both to this if you decide to do it.

By Scott

Leadership Journey – Strengths to overused Strengths

They were a year into their first leadership role and the feedback was You do not care.  How could that be – because I do! was the defense.  The proof to the contrary was two valuable people leaving the organization and the final expert doing everything they could to help the leader fail.

A universal truth of most people that write about competencies or personality profiles is the simple fact that if we have a strength (example:  getting work done) and if that strength is overused, it becomes a weakness (example:  so task focused that people do not care).  This is and should be one of the number one focuses of developing leaders, and if you look at a leadership program that is laced with classroom time and lite on self awareness/feedback – run.

If you need a second opinion and are not afraid of a 200+ page business book, read Flip Side by Flip Flippen. The Flip Side: Break Free of the Behaviors That Hold You Back

If you are a coach, and you want this conversation in the voice of a coach – read What Got You Here Won’t Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
What Got You Here Won’t Get You There: How Successful People Become Even More Successful

If I had you at hello with this conversation and you want to jump in and try to avoid the mistake again, here is a simple way to start that conversation and get to an action plan:

  1. What are the reasons you got this leadership role? (list as many as you would like, pick the top 3)  *as their leader, feel free to correct their list after they have created it.
  2. How are these reasons (actually they are strengths) going to help you in this leadership role?
  3. How are these same reasons going to get in the way of your success?  What actions do you need to take to be successful and how can I best support you in this transition? (fyi . . if they don’t ask for help, so at a minimum meet with them weekly for the first 3 months)

The other solution is to speed past this conversation, let the situation play itself out, and try and fix it later.

fyi – Michael Watkins found that 40% of outside leaders hired into an organization fail in the first 18 months.  Brad Smart contends that a bad leadership hire takes 18 months to fire and the cost is 14.6x their base compensation.

Hmmm . . . .

By Scott

1 on 1’s – Do you ask this question?

Shortly after publishing my last trU Tips on doing effective One-on-Ones (read it here), I received a note from a leader I respect.  I have never worked with him, but every time we talk he asks me questions that make me think.  He is also very willing to try new things.  He is a very valuable part of my network.

Let me call this trU Tips 22.1. In addition to the two questions I recommend once you mastered the basic One-on-one conversation, a third question to ask is – What should I keep doing the same?

Remember the goal of a One-on-One is to build trust and focus by creating space for your people to talk about what they are getting done, where they need help, and get a sense for how they are performing vs the standards you have set for them.  The advanced questions are about getting feedback for you that will help you continuously refine your own effectiveness as a leader.  Think of these three questions:

  • What do I need to do more of?
  • What should I keep doing the same? (the new question)
  • What do I need to do less of?

If you ask these questions and log in the answers over a 3-6 month period, I guarantee it will give you the same results as a professionally administered 360 feedback tool.  In financial terms, the choice is listen for free or spend five figures having someone else listen for you.

I love my network – they make me better.  I am listening.

By Scott

Rule 2 – Individual (not leader) owns the agenda

(This is the second blog in a series outlining the key rules for making one on ones work.  Here is a link to the first:  Rule 1 – Be in the same room together)

I stood in front of a group of human resource professionals and asked them Whats the #1 reason leaders would resist a regular one on one schedule? Their answer – Time.  It is a reality that another commitment, especially one that takes preparation, is going to be an issue.  This is one of the key reasons that Rule #2 exists.  While this time together requires presence from the leader, it requires only minimal preparation because the agenda is 100% driven by the individual.  Here are two reasons why.

First, the number one need for people at work is knowing what is expected of them. Gallup created a twelve question survey they could use to assess employee engagement at work.  They called it the Q12, and the very first and most important question was I know what is expected of me at work. Each day, new problems or opportunities arise in a business, and with each comes an event that could change the nature of the work that someone has to do. The key to a one on one is doing the five R’s around work duties:  refine, revise, reorder, reinforce, or remove.  Since it is a fundamental need for every person to have some level of focus in their work, they will have the strongest desire to own any activity that helps them achieve that.  The one on one is that activity.

Secondly, it addresses one of the top issues with any leader, the ability to effectively delegate work. The #2 best-selling Harvard Business Review article of all time is Management Time:  Who’s Got the Monkey? Leaders have long struggled with taking on too much work from their people.  The inherent question from the leader in the one on one conversation is –What do you need from me? There are four basic needs a leader has to be ready to address.  The need for . . .

  • A listening year
  • Encouragement to overcome a frustration
  • Coaching to see/define other options for getting through a barrier
  • Help prioritizing/re-framing an overbooked to do list

Notice your work is not on the list.  There will likely be some commitments for a leader after a one on one, but most should revolve around working with other leaders to deal with competing organizational priorities.  There is a natural need for leaders to take on the work of their people (for that perspective read the article).  The one on one all about helping the individual achieve a state of 3 Mores/1 less:  MORE focused, MORE autonomous, MORE  successful, and LESS stressed.  In that state, everybody wins, especially the leader.

More to come on one on ones.  If you are interested, here is a sample template for getting started.

By Scott

What do I do?

What are the top 5-7 responsibilities in my job?  The things that if I do them well will have the greatest impact on my success and the success of my team?

Can you answer this question?  This is the first question asked in the One on One form that I use with clients because it does one of two things:  1) Prioritizes a job description to a few key items that help define success in a role  2)  Creates a meaningful job description for someone that has never had one.

Ken Blanchard defines leaders as an influence process.  It is about working with people to accomplish their goals and the goals of the organization. The cornerstone of leadership is in the conversation around: What are you doing?  What should you be doing?  What can I do to help? If that conversation happens repeatedly over a 3-6 month timeframe things will get done if everyone involved makes a habit out of following through on their commitments.

Finally, here are three hints that will help guide you through this part of the job description:

  1. Don’t be too general. For example, when someone says Lead my team, it is too general.  At worst, I would plug in the Blanchard definition of leadership and make the measurement the simple activity of sitting down with each team member twice a month.
  2. Summarize repeated items. If there are 1o projects listed, that means managing projects is a core job requirement and the measure would be delivery, quality, cost, and customer satisfaction.
  3. Ask for input. Leaders, peers, customers will all have an opinion on this.  Ask them and use the input to create and clarify your list.

A study was done by the Ken Blanchard Companies and Training Magazine to define what were key motivating factors at work and who owned them?  A unique part of the survey was the ability to assign ownership to Myself, My Leader, or Senior Leadership.  In the end, the one organizational factor around motivation that was assigned to My Leader(80+% ownership) was performance expectations.

Remember to ask the question and have the patience to work towards a great answer.